“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” -Anna Taylor
“No,” is a complete sentence. This is for those of you who have a big heart, or have a hard time saying, “No.” And you may feel the need to justify your, “No.”
The truth is that you don’t. If you want to tell the person why you are unavailable then you may. It is NOT required of you.
Saying, “No,” is planting the seed of freedom. If others don’t respect your boundaries, then you have permission to walk away. No need to feel trapped.
This simple two-letter word allows you to step into your full power. There is nothing to fear. Decide how you want to live your life.
Be prepared for some potential backlash from the more stubborn family members and friends. If you are asked, “Why?” or “Why not?” in response to your, “No,” then you may respond with, “It doesn’t work with my schedule.”
If they press you further, simply say, “It’s personal,” or “It’s a private matter.” Leave it at that. Most people get the hint and drop it. Their reaction isn’t your responsibility. You are in charge of you and they are in charge of themselves.
It can be like training a puppy, you may have to repeat yourself a lot in the beginning. Eventually, everyone learns that when you say, “No,” it means “No.”
No one else has dominion over how you live your life. Just like you do not decide how others live their lives. Go and be free!
TODAY’S PRACTICE
When someone asks you to do something that you really don’t want to do, try saying, “No,” period. Whether it be a task that you really don’t have time for, or perhaps you’ve always said yes so you’re afraid to say “No.”
If this seems daunting, start with smaller no’s. Do you want to go watch a movie or do you want to stay home to read a book? If you don’t feel like going to the movie, then kindly say, “No.” Do what makes you happy unabashedly.
Say, “No,” and move on. Don’t dwell on letting the other person down; don’t worry about if they are feeling disappointed. Choose to feel happy because you said, “No,” and enjoy reading your book.
Remember that this is YOUR life. Your time is valuable. Spend your time doing things that make your heart sing. The fourth richest man in the world, Warren Buffet said, “…I mean, I can buy anything I want basically but I can’t buy time.” (5) Time is your most valuable asset. Saying, “No,” allows you to step into your power. It may be scary at first. You can say, “No,” nicely but be firm. This is one of those practices that improve with time. Feel the power of, “No.”